This morning, I took a different route. A morning newspaper is still my objective, but I was feeling pretty good and decided to expand the distance yet again.

 Along the new route was a property that someone was adding a chain link fence to. It was a six foot tall fence that had only stood a few days. So I started thinking...

 If a bear or moose confronted me at this point in my trek, what would be my escape route? Obviosly, over the fence would be the quickest exit. And that brought back memories.

 Many years ago, my best friend MP and I used to enter the state fairgrounds for free by scaling a chain link fence. We were working stiffs always looking to save a few bucks. I would park on an old girlfriend's father's property right next to the fair. I wasn't seeing her anymore, but he always liked me, and knew my car, so he didn't mind. Great, no parking fee.

Then, MP and I would loiter about thirty yards from the ticket gate and wait for our chance. It never fails that the ticket gate, being a busy place, would always be under staffed. Watching the security guys for just a few minutes, it was easy to see where ther attention was focused. Then, in the blink of an eye, we'd hop over the fence and get lost in the crowd. No admission!

 This happened every year for about six years, until I got married. Hey, the fair would get plenty of our money, just not the admission or parking! But one year was a little embarrassing.

 MP and I had dates. They were roommates in our apartment building and they were hot! We had been working on them for quite awhile, and this was only our second date with them. We asked them to the fair and they were excited to go (as were we). We all piled into my Starfire and off we went. I parked at the usual place as they asked how I knew the property owner. "Oh, he's a friend of my dad's" I told them. I wasn't about to say it was my old girlfriend's dad.

 Then we proceeded to the ticket gate. "Well, this is where we climb over" MP said. The girls looked at us like we were crazy, "what do you mean?"

MP explained that we never pay for admission. I told them it was easy and we'd help them. They refused. They told us that they were'nt about to climb the fence. That they would pay like everyone else and if we must climb, they'd meet us on the other side.

 "OK, you guys pay, but Lindsay and I are climbing and we'll meet you on the other side" MP said. So they got in line and MP and I waited until they were almost to the gate before we climbed. And that seemed to be the fault in our otherwise ironclad plan. You see, as I said before, we always jumped at the same place about thirty yards from the gate. But this time, we waited in line with our dates until we were only a few feet from the gate. And being twenty years old, and cocky as a couple of roosters, we figured we could jump wherever we wanted. So we jumped  the fence only about thirty feet from the gate.

 Not only did about 100 people in line see us, but so did security. As I landed on the other side, I saw four security guards pointing at us and starting to run. MP was a few steps ahead of me, and I tried to draft him into the crowd. I remember some of the people in line were hollering to catch us, others were yelling "go, go, go!" The security guys were literally feet from catching us, or at least me. But, we ran hard for about thirty seconds, then blended into the flow of the crowd. We both stripped off our jackets and acted like we were part of the crowd. We walked for awhile until we felt like the pressure was off us. Then we circled back towards the gate to find our dates.

 We loitered around the gate watching for our dates but never saw them. The coast was clear for us, but where were the girls? After about fifteen minutes, they clearly must have entered. MP and I spent about an hour looking for them without success. We finally decided to have some fun and hoped we would run into them.

 Three hours later we left the fair and drove my starfire home. We knocked at their door and found they were home. But they refused to let us in and we never learned exactly what happened. So we saved the price of admission at the price of companionship.

 We eventually took them out again, but never lived it down. MP and I laughed about it for years. So, back to my morning trek.

 I ran and jumped onto the fence as if I were twenty years old. Imagining that a bear was hot on my heels. My verticle leap was much shorter than I had imagined, and the fence links were digging into my fingers. I tried to pull myself up but the force of gravity was working against me. Obviously, had there been any security guys there, I was busted. And, if a bear truly was at my heels, I was now his lunch.

 I released the fence, looked around to see if anyone was watching, and continued on my trek. Note to self......You are old now!

Until next time, see ya.