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Well, after four weeks of brisk morning walks I decided to get on the scale this morning. I stood there and tried to focus on the numbers. Wait a minute, this isn't gonna work.
So I got off the scale and inserted my contacts. There, that's much better. Back on the scale and I can cearly see the numbers. Wait a minute, this isn't gonna work either.
So I hopped off the scale and stripped off my sweats. Hell, I better take it all off, just to make sure.
Back on the scale, and what? I can't believe I haven't lost a single pound! Wait a minute, this isn't gonna work.
So I hop off the scale, bend down and grab it, and start banging it on the bathtub. Then I run it under the faucet a couple times, dry it off, adjust the mark off of zero and back on it.
OK, it's clean, zeroed out, and I'm sure if anything was stuck, it's loose now. Back on the scale. Wait a minute, this isn't gonna work.
I can't believe that I'm risking my life every morning for this. You know there are wild animals out there! There are bears, moose, hell there's even three legged dogs!
OK, I now admit that my morning trek is more than just a paper run. I actually thought I could lose a couple lbs.
Back to the scale, what could be the problem? After careful inspection, I finally figured it out. It was right there all along. The sticker on the side was extremely faded, but I could still make out the three words "made in China".
Well there you have it, come on, noone over there weighs more than a buck forty. The upper end of the scale is surely off. In fact, it probably is off exponentially the higher it goes. Well, wait just a goll darn minute, this isn't gonna work.
It is now gonna be the star attraction on trash day. Remind me to get a new one. Until then, I'll just have to guage it by feel. Yeah, that's it. I guess I've dropped about 5 lbs. I new it was worth it.
Later,
RL
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